Who Am I Without You Guys

Ya. Bit emo again. But today i was really happy. But happy do bring back the sadness and cruelty of life. Maybe i should just not think so negatively. But cant help it. Sigh. Planning to do a compilation of what we've done together. As a piece of memory to treasure. Planning a trip as well. Night Frisbee coming up soon. Hopefully. Hmm. I don't wanna lost my group. Cuz many happy times make seperation a really hard one. Sometimes i feel so miss everyone every sunday after fris. Every scene of memory flash by. As if it happen again. But its just empty field with no laughter. All just imagination. But sometimes it feels so real. These are what i felt after fris mostly. Well. Back to the happy me during the day. Cyber with those cyber freaks. LoL. My cs sucks la guys. Kena pawn everytime. Gotta improve. Hon as usual same like gh. So yam la. Pity their future wife to be. LoL. Well. For those that didn't stay for dinner at ipoh's. This is what happened.....................

Guess who...Pretty girl???

eeeeeeuuuuuuuuuu !!! So damn gay right?That's balloon actually....

Kung Fu Panda

Yesterday had a late invitation from ping for movie today. Accepted it since i ponteng my friday class. Hey. Look. I'm not the only one that ponteng ya. There are about 90% of my class did the same thing as well. LoL. The lecturer must be damn pissed when he meet us next week.

That time was about 12 when i accepted ping's invitation. Rang mh at that time to ask him go as well. Then comes a =.= answer from him. Say don't wan because he feel that playing cyber game better wo. Anyway can't hook him out for an outting la. Sigh. The next morning message gh. He say go mv can la. But pyramid don't know how to go wo. C'mon la. Your college like just less than a km from there how come don't know how to go? zzz la. But he said later he also not free, so i don't wan to ask further lo. Hehe.

Then the whole morning was cabal-ing and i saw hon also in cabal. His character like so yeng like that. Na ying. LoL. Then hoop on public transport to taylors. Meet ping there. Too bad will got tuition, if not he'd come as well. Sigh. Watched kung fu panda lo. Now i know why everyone say its damn seriously funny. Because it is really funny. Kids laughter was heard all around. The cartoon to me, was like an ice-breaking thing for me to laugh. Though on thurs i'd had an hour and half of crazy laughter at class. Thanks ping for having a day out with me. At least there's one day in my current life that is not lonely. Wish i could smile more and remember how it feels like to smile.

Rainy Sunday

Today went cyber outside my place with huan, ch and will. Mh din come cuz he got VIP stuff to attend to. LoL. Play what we usually play lo. Too bad kinda few ppl. Hmm. Then go frisbee training. Attendance 12 people. Played two match. Second match thrash jiat and bryan de team by 7 point margin. LoL. Just a game ya. Don't get mad. Then gather around and chat. Start rain liao. Play 100m running to collect cons under the rain with will. Eventually lose liao. Because the cons are like stick to the ground d. LoL. Heard that huan and bryan gonna start mount kinabalu climbing tomorrow. All the best la. Don't PK then ok d. JK. Next week gonna be hon's last week before he go to nilai inti. So gotta kai bao him oh guys. Hehe. Hopefully everyone'll come training la ok? If not you are out of the team. No shirt also. I got exam coming soon and assignment waiting to pass up also. So pls don't take it as an excuse ya. If family matter then nothing to say. But at least do inform the other. Anyone.

Voo-Doo-ed!!

OMG. I think i'm like cursed to stay at my college. Really wanna get out of here. It's hell here. As in the lifestyle. So much different than what i expected or that what i can "tahan". Zzz. Hmmm. Recently didn't find anything to update about me. That's why no update about a week. Because just all the same thing happen over and over again. Sienzzz. I think i'm in song listening spree every night. Because there's voices in the lyrics that'll tell me stories. And that it teaches me alot of experience. Reminder also i guess. Substitude for what i've lost and what i need.

Weekend Gone Again!!

Saturday was free. Didn't go for frisbee at kbu because it was way far. So gh ask me join him movie lo. Watched the incredible hulk. Hey. It was a nice movie for me. Then home. After slackin some time with suet wei and gh. Gh like the movie because it got those content. Wtf la him.

The next day-sunday. Kena persuaded by yp and will them. So no choice but to join them and go for federal hotel for yp de kasturi anugerah thingy. That old man damn gek and fan de la. But he so got point la. Anyway we manage to escape from him. LoL. Then go time square lunch. Then arcade play games. If not mistaken mh won daytona again. Kai win. Frisbee time. Not many present. Then we discuss the night frisbee thing which natalie's dad is still on it. Then team t shirt number and colours. They said those that didn't train but just join when got tournaments doesn't deserve the shirt.

Basicly today kinda mixed up la me. Blog writing so sucks la thats why. And see jie? Colour changed liao. LoL. Gay colour.

Stuffs to C?

Tonight we dine in KFC!!!

Hitler experienced puberty at an early age



Kind of fun when i see these above. Hmmm. Still i cant figure out what gone wrong in my life. Time made everything slipped pass us without us even noticing it. Hmmm. I just got up from a wave but the second is coming. Why does everything precious to us will have such ending? A life process? Must it be so hard to live with? Its like having cancer without knowing when Death visits. But when it came, we'll have to surrender. Who are you? Who am I? Sometimes it feel so lost without an objective to pursue. Why you are living on this earth? Ever wonder this question? Without an objective, we are like walking shadows. Clueless, lifeless, dull and grief. I want to reach the ending, but without knowing where to start, how can one start the journey? Learn how to live and you'll know how to die, learn how to die and you'll know how to live.

癌细胞

癌症細胞 - 李家同

老張是我們高中同班同學中唯一念醫學院的同學，
他是癌症醫生。

我們雖然是好朋友，
但我們常常開玩笑說最好不需要去找他。

同班同學聚會，老張一定會到，
他的收入高得不得了，所以有的時候他會請客，
偶爾同學中有人發生一些經濟上的困難，
他也會慷慨解囊。

雖然老張對人很慷慨，卻過著很簡樸的生活，
他每次都坐公共汽車來聚會，他也乘公車離開，
現在有了地鐵，他當然都乘地鐵。
他也從不大吃大喝。

我的感覺是，老張非常不喜歡過非常舒適的生活。

我們都是六十二歲左右的人，
到退休年齡，卻沒有人真正退休。

大概四個月以前聽人家說，老張退休了，
醫院還為他舉行了一個退休儀式，
而且聽說場面有些感傷。

我弄不清楚是怎麼一回事，正想打電話給他，
沒有想到在台北的一家書店碰到了他。
他正在買偵探小說，
看到了我，高興得不得了，一把抓住我，
找了一家環境優雅的咖啡館，
坐下來大談他所喜歡的偵探小說，
我也聽得津津有味。

可是，我注意到一件事，老張瘦了一些。

老張是個聰明人。
他當然知道我已注意到他的消瘦，
他主動地告訴我，
他得了癌症，已經只有幾個月的生命。

對我來講，這真是青天霹靂，
也沒有問現在有沒有治療 ?
因為我想他是這方面的專家，應該知道如何治療。

離開咖啡館的時候，下雨了。
我替老張攔下了一輛計程車，
這是我有生以來，第一次看到老張乘坐計程車。

一個月以後，老張來埔里找我。
他的兒子也是癌症醫生。

我們一起去了附近的農場看油桐花。
那裡的油桐花種在道路兩旁，大樹成蔭，
車子開過滿地的白花，真是奇景。

老張雖然時常面露倦容，
但他一再說不虛此行。
因為，他以後再也看不到
這種遍地都是白花的情境了。

除了看花以外，
老張也對我們的多媒體系統有很大的興趣。
我們的研究生，替他表演了好多有趣的系統。
老張仔細地看這些表演，也問很多有道理的問題。
這也是看到老張的最後一次。

不久，老張就去世了。

我當時心中納悶，為什麼他走得這麼快？
以他的專業素養，
他的癌症一定是初期，
他所得到的治療也一定是最好的。
為什麼他這麼快就走了？
我們都收到了訃聞。
訃聞中除了絕對婉謝花圈這些玩意兒外，
還有一個特別的請求，
請大家在指定的地點坐他們家租的遊覽車去。

訃聞中，好像拒絕任何人開汽車去參加葬禮。
期間來了一大票名醫，他們都面容嚴肅。
我們這些人看了這麼多的名醫，更加深一個疑問：

為什麼老張走得如此之快？

謎底終於揭曉了，老張的兒子致詞的時候，
告訴我們一個我們都不知道的故事：
老張從頭到尾沒有接受任何治療。

為什麼呢？

老張的兒子在禮堂中放映了一段錄影帶，
在這段錄影帶中，老張解釋了何謂癌症細胞？


我們常以為癌症細胞是不健康的細胞，
其實不然，
癌症細胞是最健康、最有活力的，
別的細胞雖然會分裂，但分裂會有止境。

癌症細胞的分裂永遠不會停止。

不斷的分裂需要養分，但是人的養分有限，
癌症細胞的不斷分裂
最後將其他正常細胞的養分吸取得一乾二淨。


因此老張認為我們這些人都是 [癌症細胞 ]。

因為太健康，所以我們吃得多。
因為有錢，所以我們消耗掉大量能源。
可是，地球上就這麼多資源，
我們用得多，其他人類就倒楣了。

老張在錄影帶中一再地強調：
百分之八十的資源，由百分之二十的人類消耗掉。

他也一再地提醒我們：
如果，全世界的人都像我們這樣地吃遠洋的魚，
全地球海裡的魚只夠我們吃一天。

他一再地問一個問題：
如果，全世界的人都像我們一樣地享受，
地球上的資源能撐多久？
舉例來說，四十年後，石油就用光了。

老張的錄影帶也介紹了
非洲二千五百萬人得到了愛滋病的慘相，
這一段的聲音被消除了。

但這一段靜寂的錄影帶，帶給我們極大的震撼。

老張的兒子沒有解釋
為什麼老張不願意接受治療？

那一段沒有任何聲音的錄影帶，解釋了一切。

老張早就對於他的生活好感到內疚。
所以，他一直儘量地過得很簡單。

最近非洲大批人得到愛滋病，
卻沒有人得到任何治療。
歐美雖然有治療愛滋病的藥，
但這些非洲窮人，如何有錢買這種藥呢 ?

老張熱愛生命，但是他不願他的生命影響了別人，
他不願意看到自己太健康，太健康就是癌症細胞了。

最後，老張提到他自己的病，
他說：他的病是不可能痊癒的，
花了很多錢以後，他可以多活三至四年，
在這三、四年內，他所能做的非常之少，
所以他不願意為了他的這三、四年的生命，
而花費人類大量的醫藥資源。

老張的兒子也在葬禮上告訴了大家：
老張臨死以前，捐了大筆的錢給一個慈善機構，
專門用作醫治非洲愛滋病人之用。

老張如果多活幾年，
也許可以醫治一些人，
但是他的拒絕治療， 卻是一個強有力的震撼教育。
前天，我們同學會，
每人一個盤餐，大家不發牢騷，
每個人都對自己的命運感到滿足。

我家現在平時只開電扇，有客人來才開冷氣。
我們也越吃越簡單，
每次餐後有香蕉吃就心滿意足矣。

我住的是公寓，
有時，難免想念當年在國外住的獨門獨園房子。
現在，我的想法也改了。
如果，全台灣的人都這樣住，
台灣恐怕會看不到一片青山，一片綠水，
全台灣只看到房子了。

老張說得有道理 ，
我們不能生活得太好，
我們不該是癌症細胞。
我們應該將青山綠水留給下一代，留給別人。

老張瀟灑地離去，使我們可瀟瀟灑灑地活著。

我們都輕鬆多了。



如果，你也認同這樣的理念
覺得應該把它傳出去，
請別吝嗇那一點點時間，
轉發讓更多人看到它吧！

一起期許自己別做地球的癌細胞

當然 還是要提醒您
[ 天天五蔬果 防癌輕鬆做 ]

Try Look For This Lyric

Coldplay - Fix You

Joey arrr...

Joey arrr..dun tag liao la..sigh..i very lz le..so many questions..

8 things i am passionate about : frisbee
8 things i say too often : sorry
8 books i have read recently : none
8 things i learned last year : tis year got, last year no
8 people i tag : whoever that wan 2 do so

5 things found in my bag: wallet, hp, thumbdrive, notes, student id
favourite things in my room: bed, pillow(virtually everything)
5 things I've always wanted to do: be happy
things I'm currently into: study n friends
5 presents you wish for: true n sincere wishes
The person who tagged you is Joey
Your 3 impressions of Joey: 1.gal 2.friend 3.gamer

Pass the tag to 5 people that you wish to know how they feel about you: anyone

Tagged by Joey again
Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry? no idea
2. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket? alaska
3. If you could have one word that'll describe your mood right now, what would it be? messy
4. Do you think money can buy happiness? nope
5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be? 2 be happy always
6. Do you believe you can survive without money? nope
7. What are you afraid to lose the most? myself
8. If you win $1 million, what would you do? make myself happy
9. How would you describe the person u like *at the moment*? no comment
10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you? 1.friendly 2.easy going 3.tagger
11. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half? no comment
12. If you could rewind time would you? definately
13. What's your ambition? still verifying
14. Are you emotional? yup
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life? friends
16. If you could undo doing one mistake in the past, what would it be? cant tell
17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change? reformat da whole me
18. What music have you been listening to recently? ppl that noe me noes
19. What is the one thing you cannot do but you wish you could? q12
20. What is your favourite thing in ur room? everything

Something Bad Gonna Happen

I don't know why but i can feel that it's coming. I don't want history to be repeat again. Like last time when we are having sunday practise but then everything fell apart. To few people, transport problem and so on. One by one, everyone that i know will be leaving. This time the tranport problem will definately be an issue. We all will be like thousands mile apart. Huan to UK or USA, Hon to Inti nilai, Bryan'll be leaving too i guess, Ping also. Sometimes why these thing'll happen?If there's the necessity to feel sad when friends leaving, why god meet us?It's so strange. Maybe i have not yet know my college friends deep enough yet. But i do feel like communicating with NPCs(non-player characters) like in online game. It's so not real. Whenever i'm in college, i'll think of my usual gang of friends. It's like you'll miss home when you are far away from it. That feeling. They are like my family i guess. Like i said to hon, it's more hurtful than broke up. Because broke up is just a piece of memory, friendship are a collection full of happy, sad, arguements and much more in it. But the feeling of losing grasp on it feels like what happening to you is coming to a halt. Well, maybe i'm thinking alot again. That's what you guys would say to me. But now it's like everytime we gather together it's like or gonna be like our last. How i wish it's so not true. How i wish i could know you guys again.